


The Secret

by kijikun



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Knotting, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-24
Updated: 2012-03-24
Packaged: 2017-11-02 10:44:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/368120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kijikun/pseuds/kijikun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Misha and Jensen have been together almost since Misha joined Supernatural. But there’s something  important Jensen hasn’t told Misha.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Secret

Jensen can’t sleep.

It’s been happening more and more lately. Fucking insomnia. His brain just won’t turn off no matter what he does. It hasn’t been hurting him on the set yet, which Jensen knows is good. He’s a professional; he’s not going to let his personal problems affect everyone else.

Jensen shifts in bed and after a moment sighs and pushes himself up. Maybe he’ll go play with the dogs in the backyard for a while or read a book. Hell, even watching late night TV would be more productive than just laying here.

A hand flattens across his stomach. “Where’re you going?” Misha asks sleepily.

Jensen slumps back onto the bed. “Can’t sleep,” he says softly. “Don’t worry about it. Go back to sleep.”

Misha puts light pressure on his stomach before Jensen gives in and scoots back against Misha warmth. “Didn’t I wear you out earlier?” Misha asks with a soft chuckle. He nuzzles Jensen’s throat and drags his fingers up and down Jensen’s stomach.

“You did,” Jensen admits. He’d gotten a little bit of sleep thanks to Misha fucking him long and hard earlier that night. “I just...have a lot on my mind.”

Misha’s hand stops moving and flatten across his chest. There’s silence for a moment before Misha speaks. “Do you want to talk?”

Expect they don’t have that type of relationship. Sure, they complain to each other about stuff on set and trivial shit, but they don’t talk talk. Misha might go on for what seems like hours about Random Acts or the next trip he’s taking to Cuba, but it’s not the same as talking about really important stuff.

Like their relationship. Like where all of this might lead one day. Jesus, they don’t even talk about Jensen’s heats. Jensen just tells Misha he’s due for one, Misha nods and makes sure he’s available. Misha doesn’t ask why Jensen went off suppressants or bring up kids or any of the other things Jensen expects from Alphas when it comes to heats.

Jensen hasn’t even told the really important thing. The thing you probably should tell someone you’ve been seeing for almost two and half years.

Jared knows more than Misha. Jensen even thinks Misha knows Jared knows more about Jensen than him. And shouldn’t that piss Misha off that another Alpha knows Jensen better than him?

He breathes out his nose and shakes his head. “It’s fine.”  
Misha's breath is warm against Jensen’s throat.

Jensen wants Misha to press, to act like a stereotypical Alpha and demand answers for once.

Instead, Misha drops a kiss to his shoulder and says, “Okay.”

There’s a lump in Jensen’s throat as Misha keeps kissing his shoulder. Misha’s hand drags back down his chest over his stomach.

“Want to see if I can get you back to sleep?” Misha asks slyly, nipping at Jensen’s throat at the junction of the shoulder.

Jensen moans softly and tips his head back to give Misha more access. “Offering to fuck me to sleep, Mish?

Misha chuckles. “Worked the first time.” Then he goes up on his elbows to lean over and kiss Jensen on the mouth.

Misha’s a tease when it comes to kisses. He’ll give Jensen just the barest of touches mouth to mouth, maybe of a hint of teeth here, a quick swipe of the tongue there, until Jensen is whimpering and begging for Misha to ravish his mouth.

Tonight Misha doesn’t give Jensen _time_ to beg. His mouth slants over Jensen’s, his tongue pushing inside and dragging against Jensen’s. Misha alternates fucking Jensen’s mouth with his tongue and biting at his lips until Jensen’s mouth is slick, red, and swollen; until Jensen is gasp for each breath Misha lets him have.

Misha’s hand slides down to tease Jensen’s hole and Jensen groans into his mouth.

“Already so slick,” Misha tells him, drawing back to nip at Jensen’s wrecked mouth. “Bet some of that’s from earlier.”

Jensen flushes slightly as he nods, because it is.

Misha moans softly and pressing his middle finger into Jensen up to the knuckle.

Jensen whimpers softly as his hips jerk back towards Misha. He reaches back and grasps Misha’s hip. “No teasing, Mish,” Jensen pants as the one fingers becomes two. “I can take it.”

“Want to make sure you’re ready,” Misha tells him. He drags his hand across Jensen’s chest, teasing his nipples at random, knowing that drives Jensen crazy.

Jensen slides his knee forward to make room for Misha. “I am ready!” he protests, because Jesus, he is. He’s still stretched from before.

Misha scissors his fingers and for an amazing mind-blowing moment Jensen thinks Misha is going to resist, is going to say no and prepare Jensen until he’s crazy for it, that _Misha is going to take charge_.

“Okay,” Misha agrees and slowly pulls his fingers free from Jensen.

Jensen’s not sure if the soft moan that’s forced from his chest is from pleasure or disappointment. He doesn’t have much time dwell on it before Misha is lined up and pushing forward.

“Fuck, Misha,” Jensen keens.

Misha just keeps pushing forward one long delicious push into Jensen’s body. When Misha’s fully seated, they’re both panting and clinging to what skin of the others they can.

Jensen lets his head fall back against Misha and pants opened mouthed as Misha starts rocking. Misha can’t thrust like he could if Jensen was on his hands and knees, but this is just as good.

Somehow....sweeter.

Each push seems to drag across his prostate and Jensen pushes back greedy for more of that sharp pleasure. Misha chuckles breathlessly against his skin before his hand slides down Jensen’s sweat slicked skin to his cock.

Jensen’s been with some Alphas that expect you to come on their cock and knot alone, but Misha’s never been shy about getting Jensen off with his hand or his mouth. Even like this when Jensen knows he could easily come when Misha knots him, Misha’s stroking his cock to the rhythm of their hips.

Misha drags his thumb over the head of Jensen’s cock, spreading precome. “Yeah, just like that, baby,” Misha pants in his ear.

 

Misha gets off on Jensen’s pleasure, and even after two and half years that still does something to Jensen. Sends a white hot surge into his stomach.

When Misha’s knot starts to swell, Misha twists his hips slightly, earning a deep cry from Jensen. “Yeah, knot me, knot me,” Jensen begs.

He used to hate this part. How vulnerable it made him feel, how small. But he loves this part with Misha, Misha swelling inside of him, locking them together, sending spark of pleasure racing through Jensen’s body. It makes him feel connected to Misha on a level he never would have believed.

Jensen is a slut for Misha knot.

Misha’s knot ties them completely and he comes with a sharp cry, shooting all over Misha hand and his own stomach. Misha works him through, whispering how good he feels, how perfect he is in Jensen’s ear the whole time.

Jensen slumps back into Misha’s arms, feeling Misha start to come inside him. His limbs feel heavy and the block in his mind that wouldn’t let him just drift off seem to have vanished.

Misha is nuzzling his throat to the point Jensen should start worrying about beard burn and the makeup departments reactions, but he just feels too good.

“Think you can sleep now?” Misha asks in a voice slightly slurred with pleasure.

Jensen nods, his eyes already sliding shut. He should stay awake a little while longer, they still need to clean up, but he knows Misha will take care of them both if need be. Misha’s good at that.

Misha drags his mouth across Jensen’s shoulder. “Breaks coming up,” he says, adjusting their bodies so the his knot doesn’t pull on Jensen to much.

“Hmhmm,” Jensen murmurs.

“Thought you could come out to L.A. with me, meet my sisters,” Misha says softly.

The words should make Jensen wide awake, but he’s too far under. He just thinks as he drifts off that maybe he can tell Misha about her.

***

Jensen disappeared during lunch with Jared.

Misha’s not a possessive or jealous Alpha.

At least he tries not to be. He doesn’t want to be one of those mindless brutes that expect their beta or omega to be at their beck and call. Misha wants his relationship with Jensen to be one of equals.

Not just a relationship about Jensen bending over and taking it from Misha.

And not just because he’s a big fan of bending over _taking_ it from Jensen.  
But instincts are instincts and Misha can’t help but be a little jealous of Jared. They’re as close and Dean and Sam are on screen. Jensen trusts Jared with things he doesn’t even talk to Misha about.

Misha understands. He does. It’s not like he owns Jensen or anything.

Just today he’d been hoping to talk to Jensen. Something had obviously been bothering Jen last night and he hadn’t answered Misha about going to LA over the summer. He, at the least, expected Jensen to make an excuse about his parents in Texas.

Misha mentally smacks himself. What the hell is he doing? He can just find Jensen and Jared and join them for lunch or whatever. He’s their friend too, right?

He heads in the direction they went, towards Jensen’s trailer. When he gets close he sees the windows are open and he hears voice drifting out. He starts to walk around the trailer to knock on the door when he hears Jensen’s voice as clear as anything.

“He wants me to come out to LA this summer, meet his sisters,” Jensen says. “What am I supposed to tell him, Jay?”

“The truth?” Jared’s voice is louder, closer to the window. “I can’t believe you haven’t told him. I mean this is kind of a big deal.”

“I know, it’s just...” Jensen trails off.

Misha shakes himself and steps away from the windows. He walks around the door of the trail is mind going a million different directions.

Is Jensen pregnant? No, no, Jensen would have told him that. Jensen doesn’t take suppressants but he’s damn well religious about his birth control.

What would Jensen need to tell him? What would --

Is Jensen...is Jensen _with_ Jared?

The thought makes Misha’s heart stop in his chest. 

Jared is like the model of the perfect Alpha. Jared and Jensen have so much more in common than he and Jensen. They’re both from Texas. Jensen spends a lot of time with Jared and Genevieve.

Sure, Jared is already married Gen, but it isn’t unheard of for an Alpha to have a beta and an omega.  
Misha licks his lips. Okay, he isn’t going to jump to conclusions. He’s not going to be a jealous brute.

Misha collects himself and knocks on the trailer door.

It takes a minute before Jared pushes it open. “Hey, Misha.”

Misha gives him a wide grin that he doesn’t feel. “Thought I’d join you two for lunch. If that’s okay?”

Jared steps back into the trailer allowing Misha up the steps. Jensen smiles, but well they are all actors.

“Sure, we’ve got plenty of pizza,” Jensen drawls, and waves a hand to a chair.

Misha joins them at the table and tells himself that he isn’t being petty when he sits so he’s separating Jensen and Jared.

***

Misha’s in the kitchen making dinner when Jensen gets back from his run with Harley. It’s smells like curry and Jensen’s stomach grumbles.

“Smells good, Mish,” Jensen says passing through the kitchen.

Misha looks up and grins at Jensen. “Unlike you.”

Jensen gives Misha a mock affronted look. “I smell manly, I’ll have you know.”

“You smell like a gym locker room mixed with wet dog,” Misha shoots back. “Go shower, the chicken curry should be done by then.”

Jensen crowds into Misha’s space for a kiss and is surprised when Misha hesitates. It’s not a big hesitation by Jensen sees it none the less. Jensen pulls back, feeling off balance.

“I’ll go shower then,” he tells Misha.

Misha nods, not meeting his eyes. Jensen escapes upstairs.

Standing under the spray of hot water, Jensen isn’t sure what’s wrong. Misha seemed fine this morning and on set. Maybe it’s because Jensen hasn’t answered him about this summer?

But Misha would just ask again not dwell on Jensen forgetting -- or pretending to forget.

Misha had come into the trailer right on the heels of Jensen and Jared conversion about Madison this after afternoon. Maybe he had heard something?

Jensen scrubs his fingers through his hair. If Misha did, it doesn’t matter. Jared is right. He needs to tell Misha. If just for Madison’s sake.

Her being in Texas with his parents had worked out for the most part, but he missed her. Really missed her. It had made sense three years ago to let his parents raise her. He’d been single, clueless, and knew he couldn’t raise a kid in Vancouver and be on set all day. Not without nannies. His parents had seemed like a better plan.

Plus, he’d wanted to keep her and the circumstances of her conception out of the press.

Now, he wishes he’d given raising her himself up here a chance.

Jensen steps out of the shower and starts to towel off.

It would all work out. Misha would be fine with it, Maddy would adore Misha, and Misha would adore her. It would all work out fine.

He puts on a clean pair of jeans and henley before heading down stairs barefooted. He fucking loved radiant heating.

Misha smiles as Jensen comes into the kitchen. “Just in time.”

“Great, I’m starved,” Jensen tells him.

They both sit down at the kitchen table and dig into their bowls of curry. Jensen loves Misha’s curry. It’s just the perfect level of spicy and the naan bread he bakes to go with it is the perfect way to eat it.

They’re quiet while they eat, which is strange for them. Jensen’s trying to work up the nerve to tell Misha, while Misha just seem content to eat in silence.

Misha finishes first and pushes his bowl away. Jensen looks up from his own bowl and finds Misha looking at him almost sadly. Jensen rests his piece of naan in the bowl.

“Mish? What’s wrong?” Jensen asks.

Misha looks away and Jensen’s stomach dips. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Yeah, I think there is,” Jensen pushes. He scrubs his hand over his face once. “C’mon tell me.”

“How are Jared and Gen doing?” Misha asks out of fucking nowhere.

Jensen blinks. “Uhm, okay, I guess. You were with me last time we saw them both together and we had lunch with Jared today.”

Misha nods slowly. “You and Jared are close.”

Jensen blinks. “Misha...” he trails off and decides to just ask. “Did you hear me and Jared talking today?”

Misha hesitates then nods.

Jensen almost sighs in relief, that’ll make things easier. “Look, man, I’m sorry I haven’t told you, but...” He shrugs. “I’m used to keeping this a secret, you know?”

Misha’s hand curls into a fist and he just stares at Jensen.

“I mean, but you know now, right? So -- are you -- you’re okay with it, right?” Jensen asks, his stomach twisting with worry at Misha silence. “You understand?”

Misha’s hand uncurls and slams down onto the table so hard to jars the bowls. “No, I do _not_ understand! How long has this been going on?”

Jensen flinches back. He’s never really seen Misha angry before and he -- “Three years,” comes out of his mouth in something like a whimper.

Misha doesn’t get angry like this. Misha doesn’t yell. Misha doesn’t get violent.

But suddenly Jensen is terrified.

“Three years? Three years?!” Misha repeats. “So this has been going on before I even got on set? So what? You had to get Gen on board and I was something fun to play with in the meantime? Has this whole thing been a joke to you?”

For a moment, Jensen has no idea what Misha is talking about. Not a single fucking clue.

When he gets it, he stands up some fast his chair tips over with a bang. “You son-of-bitch, you think I’ve been with Jared?” he demands outrage pouring through him. “You think -- you think I just let you knot me through all of my heats because I thought it was some kind of laugh? I can’t believe you. I can’t fucking believe you. I’ve been worrying myself sick and you assume I’m cheating on you.”

Misha’s staring up at him with this odd mix of shame and horror on his face.

“I _love_ you, you asshole!” Jensen yells so loud that Harley starts barking.

Then Jensen storms upstairs so upset he can hardly see straight. He pulls a bag from the closet and starts throwing clothes into it. He should make Misha leave, but he just wants to leave. He’ll call Cliff and have him take him to Jared’s place.

Jared will give a place to sleep for the night. He’ll figure out everything else later.

By the time, he’s gotten the duffle halfway full this face is wet and his hands are shaking.

“Jen,” Misha says from the doorway, his voice soft, full of hesitation.

 _Good_ , thinks Jensen. He doesn’t look over at Misha.

“I’m an asshole,” Misha says. “I’m a possessive jealous asshole of an Alpha.”

“Yeah, right now you are,” Jensen agrees, trying hard not to sniff.

Misha bare feet makes soft sounds against the wood floor. “I’m sorry,” Misha tells him. “I’m so sorry for what I just accused you of.”

Jensen gives up packing the bag and sits down on the bed, facing Misha. “Why?” he asks softly.

“I’ve always been jealous of Jared,” Misha admits, looking at his feet. “He’s the model of the perfect Alpha.”

Jensen blinks in confusion. “Jared is a giant teddy bear!” Because seriously Jared might huge but he’s nothing like a stereotypical Alpha. “And who said I want a ‘perfect Alpha’. I’ve been happy with you, Misha. I wouldn’t be with you otherwise.”

Misha looks up, his blue eyes meeting Jensen’s. “Why haven’t you said you love me before?”

Jensen raises his chin. “You haven’t exactly been saying it.”

Misha looks almost sheepish for a moment as he says, “I didn’t want to pressure you.”

“Misha,” Jensen almost laughs, despite about how angry he was just a few minutes before.

Misha moves forwards until he’s almost to the edge of the bed then drops to his knees. “I love you, Jensen.”

“Misha, get up,” Jensen protests, reaching down to tug at Misha’s hands. “I love you too, but get up.”

Misha shakes his head. “I just treated you like I swore I’d never treat anyone. Like a brutish Alpha oaf.” He rests his forehead against Jensen’s knees. “I’m sorry, Jen. Please forgive me.”

Jensen drags his fingers through Misha’s dark hair. “Do you want to know what I was talking to Jared about?”

Misha lifts his head and nods. “If you still trust me enough to tell me.”

Jensen bites his lip, thinking maybe this would have been easier if he’d pushed Misha more sometimes, if they’d had fights before. “I have a daughter.”

Misha’s eyes go wide. “That’s what you meant when you said three years ago,” he says, putting it together.

“I had her over during the hiatus of season 3 and four. It was part of why they were having Dean go to hell, so I’d have less screen time during the pregnancy. The writers strike was a stroke of luck in a way,” Jensen tells Misha and it feels _good_ to be telling this to someone that hasn’t been in the loop since the start. “My parents have been raising her. It’s why I always go home to Texas any time we have sort of break.”

He tugs at Misha again and manages to get Misha to move from the floor to sitting next to him on the bed.

“What her name?” Misha asks.

Jensen loves him a little more in that moment. For asking about Maddy instead of who the father is or criticizing Jensen for not raising her himself.

“Madison,” he tells Misha. “I call her Maddy. Do you want to see her picture?”

Misha nods, his side pressed against Jensen’s. “I’d love to.”

Jensen gets out the carefully hidden photo album full of Maddy’s pictures. Misha calls Jensen little green eyes black-haired girl beautiful.

They sit talking over the photo album for hours before crawling under the covers still in the clothes and cuddling in the dark. Misha strokes Jensen’s back and hair as they talk softly.

Misha never asks about Maddy’s father.

“His name was Michael,” Jensen tells him when it’s clear Misha’s not going to ask. Because Jensen is tired of secrets. “He wasn’t a creep or anything. He just didn’t want to be a father. Offered to pay for the abortion if I wanted one. When I decided I was going to have her, he offered to pay child support, but I told him no.”

“Has he ever expressed interest in her since?” Misha asks softly.

Jensen shakes his head. “He signed away his parental rights. I mean if he ever decided he wants to meet her, I’m not going to be a dick about it, but he can’t show up out of the blue and try to get custody.”

Misha nods slightly and kisses Jensen’s forehead. “I’d like to meet her.”

Jensen smiles widely. “You could come to Texas with me this summer, meet her then,” Jensen suggests. “Then we could take her to LA to meet your family. If that’s okay?”

Misha smiles back and rubs their noses together. “We can take her to Disneyland.”

“Sound perfect.”

After that Jensen drifts off a little only to wake up laughing.

“What?” Misha asks.

“You know if we were in one of those other shows on CW, I would have stormed out and this would have taken ages to sort out,” Jensen chuckles.

Misha snorts. “Jared would have tried to punch me.”

“We both would have brooded for weeks,” Jensen adds, shaking his head.

“And someone like Gen would of had to set us both straight,” Misha finishes grinning like a madman in the dim light of the bedroom. “I’m glad we did things this way.”

Jensen curls an arm around Misha’s waist. “I’m still telling Jared you thought I was banging him.”

“Actually, I thought he was banging you,” Misha corrects.

Jensen smacks Misha ass. “I could still make you sleep on the couch tonight.”

Misha laughs and buries his nose in Jensen’s shoulder.

Jensen falls asleep listening to Misha’s heart beat.

***

Maddy shrieks with delight at the fireworks from where she sits on Jensen’s shoulders. “Look daddy, Tinker Bell!” she cries pointing up at the figure created momentrial by the fireworks.

“I see her, Maddy,” Jensen tells her, holding onto her legs.

Misha is a warm weight against his side, one arm wrapped around Jensen’s waist. “I always thought she was smaller,” Misha says and Jensen can almost hear his grin.

“It’s not really her, Misha,” Maddy tells him with a giggle. “You're silly.”

Misha laughs. “Your daddy is the silly one, he couldn’t tell Cinderella from Belle.”

Jensen’s never going to hear the end of that one, is he?

Maddy giggles more then is distracted by another burst of color over head.

After the fireworks are over, Jensen carries an almost asleep Maddy. Misha carries the various things she’s acquired over the day, though her Princess Mickey Mouse ears still on her head. Jensen and Misha each have their own pair, though only Misha is wearing his.

“Bet she’ll be up before us tomorrow,” Misha says affectionately.

Jensen laughs softly. “Someone promised to take her swimming before we headed back to the park.”

Misha grins widely, his teeth gleaming in the half light. “We’ll let you sleep in, Sleeping Beauty.”

“Does that make you Prince Charming?” Jensen asks, stopping to readjust is hold on Maddy.

“Only if this is happily ever after,” Misha rejoins.

Jensen suddenly finds himself grinning ear to ear. He ducks his head towards Misha for a quick kiss. “Let’s give it our best shot.”

“That mean I’m a princess?” Maddy asks sleepily.

Both men laugh but it’s Misha that says, “You're our princess.”


End file.
